50 and Going Back to School

Lisa Weldon in New York

Lisa Stapleton Weldon in New York

I’d always dreamed of moving to NY for the summer and taking a month-long course at Parson’s. So while in NY on business this past November, I thought I’d swing by this famed university and check to see if they had printed their new summer catalog.

So, I walked in the front door and to my left was a nice young woman, sitting at the desk. I assumed she was a student, working to put herself through college.

Now, you’ve got to realize that I went to Auburn, as an art student, in the 70s. Yes, I wore hippie clothes, Dr. Scholl’s shoes, hip hugger pants with patches all over them, my hair was stringy. I embrace artistic dress. It’s an expression of your creativity. In some circles, the more way-out you dress, the more creative you must be, right?

But Auburn in the 70s comes nowhere close to Parson’s in the { what do they call it now? } the 10s.

So back to the lobby at Parsons. This young lady was dressed in ten shades of black. Her hair, her nails, her eye make-up, her bubblegum, and even the bow in her hair. A bow in her hair, how Southern.

Covering 75% of her arms was the most incredible artwork you’ve ever seen. She must have laid dead still for weeks while the tattoo artist did his work.

The other 25% of her body was pierced with studs of every color. Bling on steroids. Her nose, her tongue, her earlobes, her temples, and lord knows what other body parts were bejeweled.

So, in walks Miss Lisa, dressed to the nines (pg 9 of Lands End), sportin’ my Mobile, Alabama southern drawl and I ask the sweet young thing if they had mailed their new summer catalog yet.

She takes one look at my to-the-waist khaki pants and my pin-striped turtleneck, cocks her head to one side, and answers, “if it’s not online, it’s not out yet.”

In other words, “Who let you in here, old lady? MAIL? How yesterday!”

So, bottom line: In order to fit in with my new classmates, all of whom will surely be 25+ years hipper than me, I need to do something drastic. Do I tattoo something? Or get something pierced?

Please leave your comments below. I don’t need the peanut gallery telling me WHAT to pierce or tattoo. And don’t be a smart a– and tell me tattoos on old wrinkled skin take on a life of their own. I already know that.

I look forward to your pearls of wisdom.

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  • Michele Stapleton
    Posted at 12:33h, 11 March

    I dare you.

    Maybe you can start with something small and tasteful like “G.R.I.T.S.” (Girls Raised in the South.)

  • Kim
    Posted at 15:25h, 11 March

    I think a not so subtle WDE would be appropriate!! The question is WHERE!!

    • admin
      Posted at 16:39h, 11 March

      a flying eagle, with a complete wingspan across the back of my shoulders… yeah. I like that.

  • Sally
    Posted at 03:09h, 13 March

    Reminds me of the joke about the two old ladies in the beauty salon. A sweet young thing comes in for a cut and she has a shirt cut down to there showing much of her generous assets. On one breast she has a rose tattoo. One of the elder ladies turns to the other and, tut-tutting, says, “Little does she know that when she’s our age that thing is going to be a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket.”

    • lisaweldon
      Posted at 03:34h, 13 March

      “..in a hanging basket.” That’s a riot!

  • Car Hire Alicante
    Posted at 14:27h, 26 March

    I think you’ll want to place a facebook icon to your site. Just bookmarked the article, however I had to make this by hand. Simply my suggestion.

    • lisaweldon
      Posted at 20:48h, 08 April

      DONE! I appreciate the suggestion. I’m learning all this little by little! Thank you!